The impact of this setback left me suffering for many months. Needless to say that she never renewed her offer to take me to the nature biotopes. She didn't even want to listen to me on the phone again. The only thing which I have got a few days later was a list of books about plant sociology "so that I can be able to reconstruct the last dialog better". Due to a sudden lack of motivation, I have never bothered to read them.

My family said they are glad that the officials have finally demotivated me, so that I can continue my work for the college. So much for that.

I have had many years to think about the new situation. I realized that I was alone. Most nature friends are always quick with words, but they all back up, when they really meet someone who tries to do something. Words, only words! But I doubt that a nature protection which is based on fear and arrogance will ever accomplish anything.

"You'd think that everyone involved in conservation work would be on the same side, but there's just as much squabbling and bureaucracy as there is in anything else."

Mark Carwardine, "Last chance to see..."